10p Tax Band

Once more the Progressive Contrarian unearths the minutes of a recent meeting at 10 Downing St:

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PM: 'Ah, Darling, there you are.'

Chancellor: 'Yes, PM. I am.'

PM: 'What's that, laddie?'

Chancellor: 'I am, PM. You said, "there you are", and I agreed and said "yes, PM, I am."'

PM: 'Enough of your wittering, Darling. We have a problem.'

Chancellor: 'Which one, PM?'

PM: 'What are you saying, Darling?'

Chancellor; 'Nothing, sir. A problem you said.'

PM: 'It's your budget. You've mishandled things, haven't you, laddie?'

Chancellor: 'But you said it was fine, I'd deciphered all the scribbles on the back of your envelope and...'

PM: 'Who delivered the budget, Darling?'

Chancellor: 'I did, PM. Sorry.'

PM: 'In cutting the 10p tax band you've made life very difficult for the most vulnerable members of society.'

Chancellor: 'The Parliamentary Labour Party?'

PM: 'Precisely. And rewarded those who deserve it the least.'

Chancellor: 'The Opposition?'

PM: 'Correct. Now, what what do you propose to do about it, laddie?'

Chancellor: 'Exactly what you tell, me, PM.'

PM: 'Good boy.'

Chancellor: 'But I told people I couldn't re-write the budget...'

PM: 'But you're not, are you?'

Chancellor: 'Technically, I suppose not. How can I be re-writing something I didn't write in the first place?'

PM: 'Well, laddie, that's one way of putting it...'

Chancellor: 'But the tax rebate is going to cost us billions, PM. Isn't that a lot of money to pay for the Crewe and Nantwich by-election? That's an awful lot of money for one MP.'

PM: 'Don't be silly, boy. It's not for one MP, it's for all of the ungrateful buggers. Ask them how much they think we should pay to keep them in their seats...'